Not knowing what’s going to happen next can be amazing. It can be and exciting and invigorating chance to throw caution to the wind and fly by the seat of your pants.
Or it can be a terrifying time of confusion and feeling as though you’re not in control of your own destiny.
I’m back in the terrifying stage.
This week has been very positive – I’ve had a lot of stage 1 & 2 interviews that felt as though they went well. But, of course, they still have more people to see, so now I’m playing the waiting game. I’m waiting to find out what the next stage is, and if I’m part of it.
There are two roles that, I think of as ‘my new job’ when I’m not doing a good job of thought policing myself. That belief is really something that I can’t let happen because there’s still a huge chance that it won’t come through and I’ll be left back where I started. I have to keep finding vacancies, sending out CV’s and being pro-active in my hunt, but I’m finding it difficult because I can’t imagine being more interested in a role than I already am in one of the roles I’m waiting to hear back from.
Instead of being as proactive as I should be though, I’m mostly sitting in the living room, in my gym clothes, being annoyed about how far away my gym is (but super close to my old office) and listening to ‘Relaxing Piano Music’ on Spotify to try to get myself into a productive mind set. I have a glass of tonic water, and as the temptation to add in a little gin increases I think it’s time to get some ground rules in place if this job hunt is going to work, and it has to.
When I was working I would go to the gym at lunch time a minimum of 4 times per week. I set myself the target of cycling 50km per week and I usually, just about, managed it.
The sessions were short but valuable; an hour in the middle of the day where I didn’t have to think about anything except Kiss FM and keeping sweat out of my eyes. I was doing something I felt proud of, that was just for me, and that had a really clear benefit.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve lost a lot of that momentum. I made it to the gym three times last week. Twice this week. Today I’m sitting in my gym clothes but don’t actually think I’m going to end up going. The problem is the distance – it’s not just down the road any more it’s a tube ride away, which isn’t much, but it’s enough to be off putting.
I don’t think it’s realistic to swear to go every day, but what I can do is swear to make the times I get there count. I’ll stick to my 50km per week goal, just by staying longer and working harder when I do make it there.
2. Don’t Drink all the Gin.
This really has to stop. Just don’t drink all the gin. Lock the cocktail cabinet and stop looking at it until dinner time.
3. Go Outside.
When I’m not looking for jobs I feel guilty, so I end up just staying in the house because I have more chance of finding my new job form there there than from the park. But it’s so sunny, and I’m going stir crazy, so I’m going to resolve to go outside once a day, minimum. Hopefully this will give me a chance to clear my head and be more ready to make better applications later.
4. Stop Snacking.
At work = 0% snacks
At home = 100% snacks.
Because at home can be boring, and having a snack is interesting. ish.
Combined with the lack of exercise this has the potential for disaster, best to nip this in the bud.
5. Be more discerning.
In the beginning I was applying for anything and everything, however tedious the connection to what I actually wanted to do, I feel I’ve had enough interviews and feedback now to have narrowed down what I want. Now, instead of trying for everything, hoping I get something – anything – it’s time to only apply for things I genuinely want to do.
6. Don’t rule yourself out.
I’ve become better at this recently – but as well as being more discerning, I need to dream a little bigger. There have been plenty of jobs that I haven’t sent in applications for because they seem to senior, or the salary is above my level, or what ever ‘I’m not good enough’ reason I have that day. Then I decided to dream bigger – I decided to let the people doing the hiring be the ones who decided if I was right for the role or not. Since then I’ve got interviews (and second and third interviews) for roles with the exact title I want, or a salary that I thought I was years away from. Now I feel as though I should just apply to anything that I reasonably think I could do a good job at, and hope the Hiring Managers think so too.
I’m going to really dedicate myself to these 6 resolutions, and by the end of the month I’ll either be healthy or employed. Maybe I’ll be both – have to dream big!